Satan and Cindy

Hello everyone! Once again I have gotten quite behind in my posts but I have been doing alot of work and I found new pieces that I forgot I had even written. They arnt anything amazing, but I hope you like them. Each is veery different from the other, but each is special to me in a different way. So without further ado, I will introduce them.

Ok, this one is called Satan and Cindy. I wrote this as a script for a SNL skit. My English 4 class decided to make our own episode of SNL, and this was one that we recorded. My sis laura actually played Cindy and did an amazing job by the way. This is a combination of old SNL skits with a satan character(played by WIll Ferrell) and a scene from one of the Bill and Ted movies, but of course I put my own spin on it all. I still feel its hilarious but maybe its just cause it brings back the memories...but yall can tell me what you think.

Satan and Cindy

A little girl, Cindy, dressed in pajamas is getting ready for bed. She kneels down about to pray. Suddenly, a very finely dressed man with slick hair walks out of the bedroom closet.

Satan- Hello Cindy.

He speaks coolly. The little girl stares back in shock.

Cindy- Who are you?

Satan- Me? Why I….am Satan! (He throws back his head and gives an evil, but very cliché laugh.)

Cindy- Who?

Satan- What, are you serious? You really don’t know who I am? (Girl shakes her head “no”. She is obviously confused. Satan presses against his temples thinking and frustrated.)

Satan- Ughh…I don’t know. You’ve heard of the Bible- I’m in there somewhere.

Cindy- Jesus!? (Her face lights up.)

Satan- NO!! (He yells –she frowns.) Not him. I’m the bad one. (Satan is obviously struggling to keep his cool.)

Cindy- Judas?

Satan- You know, maybe it doesn’t matter who I am. (He sits her down on the bed.) It’s why I’m here.

She slowly lifts up a stuffed plush animal, which he quickly bats out of her hand.

Satan- No! Focus! I am here…for your eternal soul! (He laughs again maliciously.)

Cindy- Why?

Satan- (exasperated) I don’t know. Because I collect them for some reason. It’s just what I do. Now, are we quite finished with the questions? (He begins to speak gently. He sits on the bed, holds out a contract, and puts his arm around her.)

Satan- Are you going to give me your soul or not?

Enter guardian angel. He is holding a juice box.

Angel- Cindy, I have your jui…

When he sees them, he stops mid-word and drops the juice box. Satan quickly removes his arm and puts the contract behind his back.

Satan- I swear it’s not what it looks like.

Angel- You! You’re here to take her soul aren’t you!

Satan- No! (The angel gives him a look.) Okay, maybe a little. Wait…who are you? And what gives you the right to interrupt a very important business transaction.

Angel- I am her guardian angel. (He says this importantly.)

Satan- What? (He looks at Cindy) What did you do to get one so….annoying.

Cindy- I saved a family of five from a burning building. (She says cutely.)

Satan- Dang. I’m impressed.

Angel- Don’t be. She still thinks I’m Santa and her parents think I’m an imaginary friend.

Satan- Wow, um-can we just finish this.

Angel- Okay, you want a soul? If you can beat Cindy at just two games, her soul is all yours.

Satan- Really? That’s all?( He looks at Cindy and she gives an innocent smile.)

           -Deal. (They shake hands)

Satan- So little girl, at which game would you like to lose first?

Cindy- Battleship! It’s my favorite- the ultimate game of naval strategy! (She smiles wide and holds out the game.)

Satan- Indeed….(Satan looks at her concerned.) but I should warn you, I have played that game before and I never lose.

As they begin to set up the game, the camera pans to the clock. It changes five minutes ahead, and pans back down to the pair playing the game. The angel watches. He walks over to Satan’s side. He is sweating profusely.

Angel- How’s it goin’ big guy. (All his ships are huddled together in the middle of the board and almost all are completely filled with red pegs.)

Satan- I don’t want to talk about it.

Cindy- B4

Satan yells suddenly overturning both the game board and the table they are playing at.

Cindy- I win!

Angel- Wow. I knew she would win but…I didn’t think anyone could lose that fast.

Satan- Shut up! We play my games now! Next is my personal favorite…War! (He pulls out a deck of cards.)

           -It’s like risk, only with playing cards. (He smiles, amused at himself.)

Angel- No. No, it’s not.

Satan- Will you shut up?!

Angel- Fine…(He backs away. Satan uprights the table and separates the deck. He gives half to Cindy and keeps the other.)

Satan- And…go.

They both flip the top card. Satan has a 2 and Cindy has a face card.

Satan- Hmm….beginner’s luck. (He shoves the cards over to her.)

They play 3 more rounds- Satan gets three more 2s and Cindy gets all face cards. Finally, they both flip identical cards.

Satan- Aha! Now it’s war, you little brat!! Are you scared, yet?! (They each put three cards face down.)

Satan- and…go. (They both flip over a card. Satan has a 2 and Cindy has an ace.)

Satan- What the?! (Satan flips over his three cards and they are all 2s, even though he has already played four 2s.) Are you freaking kidding me?!

Angel- Is that another win I hear?

Satan- NO!! One more. Rock, paper, scissors right now!

They play a few rounds in quick succession and Satan loses them all.

Satan- (defeated) Forget it. You win. I’m done. I hate this job.

Angel- Awww, come one. Don’t feel too bad. She’s really smart for her age and really, really lucky.

Satan- No. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I’m leaving.

Satan heads to the closet.

Cindy- But…

Satan- No. I hate you. Get away from me. (He shuts himself inside the closet almost as if in a temper tantrum.)

Angel- Geez. Someone is a bad loser. Oh well. What do you want to do now Cindy?

Cindy- Tea? (She holds up a play tea set.)

Angel- I couldn’t have said it better myself.