Who Am I?

This next one is on more of a serious note. I wrote this last year as I was working on my book, and well, this time in my life was very difficult because I had to be by myself almost all the time- from morning until my parents came home from work. But as I was sitting by the duck pond by my house, this is something that just came out. It was meant for me at first but after looking back on it, I saw value in it. I changed some things so that it wouldnt be quite so awkward and personal... :) I like it now, and I hope that those who read it can identify with it and remember a time in their lives when they were looking for who they were. This is called Who Am I?.

Who Am I?

Who am I?? What am I?

Sometimes, I’m not really sure. It hurts to think about it. What really defines me? Is it companionship? Is it power? Is it sex? What about life? Light? Religion? Do my thoughts control me? Are they my master?

Who decides the answer? Who am I? What am I? Am I death? Am I a savior? Am I a God? Or am I nothing? Or everything?

Sometimes I don’t know.

I feel so alone sometimes, so alone it hurts and I feel worthless. But who is to say I am worthless? Who is to say I am defined by the things in side my head, the monsters that creep inside me from the cobwebs of my mind?

They want to win- they want to define me. Everyone wants to define me, but I will not be defined as an object or a feeling or a possession or anything less than I am.

So who am I? What am I?

I am Alex Masterson. And I define myself.  I am ambitious and loving and I love to be in love. I am powerful and I rejoice in my strengths but also my weaknesses. Sometimes a little too much. I can make miracles happen in my life and in the lives of those around me and I don’t need the consent of others to feel like I am doing what is right. I am a child of a living God, that knows me and believes in me. Sometimes even more than I do, myself. I am flawed like everyone else in this world, but somehow together they can make me so much more than I could ever be alone. I want to be better, I must be better because they are worth more than they know.
We all are.

I am a creator and I will be a master of myself one day.

But I am learning control. I told you I would, so I will.

I am learning how to keep my promises.

I am learning how to be patient.

I am learning how to be me.

Because I am worth it.

I want to be free.