"Did I Show Y'all the Pictures Of the Snow?"

Ok, this one was also written by the duck pond, and it is veeerrrryy abstract. But I dont really care, so I guess it doesnt matter. :) It makes me laugh and I like the images it creates in my mind. I want you all to read it first, and try to figure out what the heck it means and what could have possibly inspired it. It's titled Did I Show Ya'll the Pictures of the Snow?.

“Did I show ya’ll the pictures of the snow?”

He smells like smoke.

Quiet.

Peaceful.

People come to relax, to enjoy the birds, and the scenery.

It’s cooler here.

“That’s your car right thea?”

Birds fly in a circle, carefully in formation, with one red bird in the middle.

“I have some stale crackers I need to bring over here.”

“These are some ooold ducks.”

“Are those pigeons?”

They rise into the air and surround me.

“You know Palal?”

“Who, Darlene’s brother??”

 “He got mad at me cause I was late. How could he get mad at me for being late? Palal is late all the time, and nobody says nothin’ to him.”

“When’s he moving? Next weekend right?”

“Every time I see GameStop on the way to work, I think of him.”

I could walk, but I don’t.

So we watch the birds fly figure eights above the lake.

 So, what did you think? :) Crazy, huh? Well, heres the answer...
I was sitting in the park trying to get new ideas for my book and an elderly black couple sat down next to me. And they just started talking...to each other... to me... they just kept talking. They were really nice, but at first, I was a little annoyed because I walked all the way there just to have some peace and quiet. There were empty benches EVERYWHERE yet they decided to sit next to me. But I started listening to them and writing down different things that they said. They were obviously from the same church and Palal is some guy that they knew there. Whatever is in quotes is something they said- even the title- and the rest is just detail from my perspective. And while we were talking, an enormous flock of birds started to fly in perfect unison above the lake in a giant figure eight. It was such an odd experience...
but I hope you all enjoyed it! (or at least got a kick out of it..) Until next time, carpe diem!!! :)

Who Am I?

This next one is on more of a serious note. I wrote this last year as I was working on my book, and well, this time in my life was very difficult because I had to be by myself almost all the time- from morning until my parents came home from work. But as I was sitting by the duck pond by my house, this is something that just came out. It was meant for me at first but after looking back on it, I saw value in it. I changed some things so that it wouldnt be quite so awkward and personal... :) I like it now, and I hope that those who read it can identify with it and remember a time in their lives when they were looking for who they were. This is called Who Am I?.

Who Am I?

Who am I?? What am I?

Sometimes, I’m not really sure. It hurts to think about it. What really defines me? Is it companionship? Is it power? Is it sex? What about life? Light? Religion? Do my thoughts control me? Are they my master?

Who decides the answer? Who am I? What am I? Am I death? Am I a savior? Am I a God? Or am I nothing? Or everything?

Sometimes I don’t know.

I feel so alone sometimes, so alone it hurts and I feel worthless. But who is to say I am worthless? Who is to say I am defined by the things in side my head, the monsters that creep inside me from the cobwebs of my mind?

They want to win- they want to define me. Everyone wants to define me, but I will not be defined as an object or a feeling or a possession or anything less than I am.

So who am I? What am I?

I am Alex Masterson. And I define myself.  I am ambitious and loving and I love to be in love. I am powerful and I rejoice in my strengths but also my weaknesses. Sometimes a little too much. I can make miracles happen in my life and in the lives of those around me and I don’t need the consent of others to feel like I am doing what is right. I am a child of a living God, that knows me and believes in me. Sometimes even more than I do, myself. I am flawed like everyone else in this world, but somehow together they can make me so much more than I could ever be alone. I want to be better, I must be better because they are worth more than they know.
We all are.

I am a creator and I will be a master of myself one day.

But I am learning control. I told you I would, so I will.

I am learning how to keep my promises.

I am learning how to be patient.

I am learning how to be me.

Because I am worth it.

I want to be free.